I see that sometime in the future, I will have to take a leap of faith...or in better words, I will have to bet with higher stakes in a game called life.
But before I take that giant leap, what I must do right now, is to finish running through this marathon. I hope that I can muster enough adrenaline and determination to at least accomplish this with my head held high, even though my dreams of getting first class honours are definitely dashed.

Almost everyday before I close my eyes to sleep, that waft of emotional cold sadness enters into my heart...where I could feel regret, melancholy, loneliness and, saddest of all, love emitting out of myself.

I let put a silent sigh to myself to comfort my heart, and clutch myself as I slumber this feeling away.

Goddammit you, you! You appeared in my dreams, again!! This time looking as sweet and dashing as you could, with a nice suit to boot, and you came by to some function/dinner that I was having in the night, and whisked me away to some nice place, like a garden with some faery lights. And every inch and fibre of me was telling myself to always stick with you and never leave! Now just when we were awkwardly trying to catch up on the times, somehow people just kept looking for me to settle this matter and that matter, leaving you forlornly behind, and when I was finally free, I kept searching for you but you weren't there and then more people came looking for me for this and that matter, until you disappeared from my mind and I was stuck with a new scenario!

goddammit! A supposedly sweet dream turned into a miserable dream until I opened my damn eyes.

Please don't appear anymore, mister, it's really nice to have you, but every time I wake up I feel like crap.

I don;t know why, but I suddenly had this faint flash of memory:

Before the start of choir practice, I was doing my maths homework, where I stumbled upon a hard question. actually it wasnt hard, the reason i couldn't think of the damn solution was because you were sitting beside me, and staring at what I was doing.

Few seconds passed and my hand that was holding my pencil was shivering ever so slightly while my eyes just kept rereading and rereading the question without raking my brain for an answer.

Don't remember what came next, but your fair white hand took the pencil away from my ugly dark brown hand, and while explaining, wrote down the solution for me.

Your handwriting was smaller and neater, than my untidy scatches.

So yeah, so I spent the whole training with a blush on my face, thinking how stupid I probably am to you.

Well I'd Never!!

I'll be honest

I was incredibly surprised but also very happy when I saw

" 'your name' and ----- commented on your status " on my facebook notifications.

And not just one status, but two!!

I cranked my head for a long time as hard as I could, trying to think out something witty and funny to reply to your comment, but in the end could only manage to reply something that does not show how happy and excited I am to see your comments.

Sigh...

After all these times, why are you suddenly paying attention to what I say on facebook? Please, I don't want to be a delusional lovesick girl who thinks too much!

A response to a dream I had with you in it.

If You Can't Make Sense of Several Things, Just Say "Goddamn It" And Continue Living.: Oh! A beautiful nightmare!: "He appeared in my dream again...and we had the most tenderest conversation, which in real life we never had. We caught up on what we were do..."

So you see,you are hurting me, even when we are thousands of miles apart.

"The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone that used to love you."

Did you used to love me?

Or you still do?

You and me, mister, are worlds apart!

Not just the geographical location, but our lives, our attitudes...

Seriously, don't you feel any stress and angst? Why are you always so happy, chirpy, witty and sarcastic?

I wished I had more charisma like you =.=

A shoutout to you

GET YOURSELF A GIRLFRIEND OR A WIFEY ALREADY SO THAT I CAN FORGET ABOUT YOU, FOR GOODNESS SAKES! (THAT IS, AFTER A PERIOD OF WEEPING AND MENDING OF MY BROKEN HEART)

Do you know, that you are the only guy I think about the most?

When I was young, and had just started my life in a co-ed high school, I met the first boy, who actually looked at me and treated me well. And I had a very strong crush on him.

He did confess to me. Actually I don't know if you would call that a confession. But I think it was.

..,many things happened between us in these 4 years, but nothing came out of it.

But my feelings for him remain the same after we have separated for these 4 years.

In those years we were in high school, I was a terribly shy girl. But he relentlessly stood in front of me. But I was so very scared, that I did not do anything, and instead choose to hurt him, until, on the last day of our graduation, i still did not do anything, and so, he slipped away from me.

But deep in my heart, I have so many many things to say to him still.

This is my letter, my message and my confession to him, that he will never see, and never read.

That I'm sorry, I regret, and I still love(?) you, mister, and you are still in my heart.

(Update: did a Google search on his name, thank goodness this post didn't appear!)